Do things thath I said sound fake? Do I in normal conversation purposely exaggerate things? Even I did, is it until my words can't be believe? Do the things I said don't make any sense? Am I those people who will say things withouht facts?
Am I those people who like to act smart? Am I a fake person?
I know I'm not but these few weeks I started to ponder upon such things. There are these particular persons in my class give me this feel for quite sometimes when I interact with them but I just ignore it because I know I'm not. But this few days, the feel of this is getting stronger & I start to question myself.
And today, I don't know is it fated, it just struck the bulleye. I was answering a lame question that was asked by my friend. I know it was a stupid question so I answer in a 'kutuk-ing' aka sarcastic way through my facial expression & my voice tone with a "and THEN?". I don't know is it coincidence or what. My another friend which is quite blur answer the same answer as I am.
So my blur friend was so delighted that I'm like her(LoL). Well, I don't really give a damn on that. The most important part is that when my that friend who ask me the question explain about this lame joke that was told by her youunger brother that she was able to grasp the point that this is a lame joke, I in an instance said that I knew it well before.
Oh yeah!! Here come this person 'A' say that (in mandarin) "Eh, don't believe him. He is lying. He always like that." I was like going on defensive to defend my stand. And here comes 'Z' with the words (in Mandarin), " Eh, you don't know you always like that meh?" I was like WTF?!?!? I'm saying the truth la!!!
I don't mind people misunderstand me because I believe that people will eventually understand. But this people just say it straight to my face. What a personality slander I receive.
Then I ask my friends, Thina & Wong about the questions above. I got a good assurance from them. I was glad that they understand me well enough. That moment I felt that still friends that I know for longer time & interact more with me know me well. Others that pop up in my mind is Daniel & Yean Ruey.
To those insolent people out there, this is what I wana say:
u dnt know my kind ur too blind to see, only see the surface not what lies beneath, ur ignorance so well guarded, become wat u define as retarded, call me crazy cos I buried my ambitions, cos I follow facts instead of superstitions
It is a stupid post but I just wana wend out my frusration in this post.